So, this is a first…
When this site first started, I added stuff that I had written to add some content to a new site. Since then, I have ALWAYS posted on someone else’s blog; then through the magic of the wordpressing I would load the page within the pages on my site… Like a dream within a dream, Blogception.
Over the course of the next few months, I will slowly start posting on my site. Beginning 27 Sept. 2012, I will re-vamp the website and all future posts will be posted like this one– on my own website.
It’s been awhile, yet there are still some things that I haven’t been able to shake. Idiosyncrasies, the peculiar vernacular, and a few other things permeate through like the smell of mothballs on your winter wardrobe. I started this as a Facebook post; as I was typing it, it grew to the point that I needed a bigger viewing medium. I hope it is well received, and maybe a handful can relate. What I am getting at is that I served. Not only that, but I served around some of the most motivated, harder-than-woodpecker-lips Devil Dogs in the modern Corps (Ken, Levi, Brandy, Magnolia, Mark, El Gavito, and Kirk) This made for an exceptionally moto Airman. I am proud of my service to this country and no one can take that away.
From now on I will no longer apologize for the way I am; consider this your guide to me.
Here is a list of said things that still linger:
I still use a 24 hour clock. Deal with it by subtracting 12; there is a calculator on your phone. Even you still have the near-indestructible, facing extinction, antiqued phones.
In text I use phonetics. I don’t use the “laugh out loud” abbreviation (or anything of the sort, mainly because I am not a pre-teen girl) unless I am drawing a shark attack. ___/_____lol_____ <—Like that. Whiskey = Welcome. Tango = Thanks. Mike = Minutes etc… This is how you figure out what I mean.
It IS an LES. My paycheck is a statement of earnings and accrued leave, therefore the acronym fits. Nanny-nanny boo-boo.
On that note; I still go on “leave”. It means I am on vacation.
If you display our Flag improperly, I will say something about it. This is not hard to get right, so excuse me if it seems like I am talking down to you. It is because I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are actually mentally handicapped instead of a worthless waste of carbon, sucking up all my good oxygen.
When I say I am shaggy, don’t tell me I have “no hair to cut”. If I can grab the sides, I need it cut. Otherwise the terrorists win. I am not asking you to follow my example but get a freaking haircut, Hippy.
Yes, I still “watch my six”. If I suddenly change direction; it is because there is another car in my rearview making an inappropriate amount of similar turns. I need to determine the threat level. It is not a figment of my imagination. Just relax… I have GPS, I will get back on the route… There is no need to correct me. This also means my back is to the wall and my face is to the door. I can get twitchy if that isn’t the case.
I don’t talk trash on the Commander in Chief. I argue points that I disagree with, support ideals I agree with, and accept that I am not privy to half the intel the President is; in turn I vote– privately.
Domestic Violence, Dead Babies, and Helen Keller — not laughing matters. Jokes about them however, are hilarious. You have to laugh in the face of life people.
Six months to a year is not a long time, anything past two years is forever.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over.
I cuss and smoke. I don’t do either where they aren’t allowed.
I stand and face the Flag during the National Anthem, I take my hat off, and I put my hand over my heart. It is a custom of respect I show my Nation.
If there are any Military personnel in a movie/tv show/musical and the directors/writers/costume dept/producers/actors/advisors screw something up, understand I will catch it and complain. Play ‘Tears of the Sun’ and watch me flip like a cat on a laser. It is as hard to suppress as an appetite.
‘Pop smoke’ is a verb. It is synonymous with ‘leaving in a rush’.
If there is a sign, I follow it. Do Not Walk On The Grass, Please Wait Here For The Next Available Teller, Do Not Feed The Alligators, etc… You can make fun of me, but I don’t care. Have some common freaking courtesy.
I will talk crap about the other 3 branches. I will be very unpleasant if you do it. I don’t care how funny the joke your girlfriend’s cousin told you was; unless you served you don’t rate repeating it to me. Unless it is about the Coast Guard. Then I might chuckle, depending on my mood; but probably not.
No I did not fly a plane.
The Skippy List is comedic genius.
I try not to yell. I usually do pretty well at holding back. Sometimes though I am properly *ahem* inspired and let loose a string of expletives, gynecological references, and appalling hyphenations that shouldn’t be spoken in public. If you are the person receiving it, it is what you get for setting me off. If you are with me and someone else is receiving it, don’t try and stop it. I will feel much better if I get that poison out and then we can get back to life.
No; as long as I can still get them, I will not stop wearing my M-Frames© w/ Strike© lenses.
A good Airman always carries a pen. To work anyway.
I don’t clean often, but when I do; it’s a GI Party. I was going to link it but apparently the meaning has been lost in the internet. GI means general inspection; essentially a top-down thorough cleaning of whatever space needs it.
Going to the range is a perfectly acceptable first date, or any other numbered date, or an anniversary, or celebration, or whatever. Sending copper jackets rocketing towards enough paper enemies to decimate a section of rainforest might seem like an excessively violent way to spend time, but it is soooooooo gratifying.
Look people, it is just the way my face looks. You can be cross-eyed giddy in public if you want, but excuse me if I maintain some bearing at work. Somebody gave me a job to do, and I do it. It’s called a game-face, quit telling me to relax or to “just smile already”. I wasn’t in a bad mood until your sunshine-and-lollipop carcass started giving me crap about my demeanor.
I ‘secure’ things. If it is a door, I secure it. If it is an unsecure candy bar, I eat it.
I have a tendency to walk two paces left and one pace behind anyone that outranks me and I am in step.
Lastly, left over right… To this very day.