Hemingway said you should write drunk and edit sober. I guess maybe for spelling. I’m not sure if you want to be here for this, but I’m going to skip editing.
I am drunk in Portugal. It happened because I wanted to try a glass of wine. The wine I ordered was delicious. Courtney’s wine was not. Mine was green, here was rose. I ordered a bottle. It was 23 euros. That’s like 23 times 1.32 dollars.
The llast time I was drunk was 2002. I was in Japan. This gives me rise to think that I am only wise to get drunk in foreign countries. Like Japan and Portugal.
Green wine doesn’t make my mouth turn funny when I drunk it. It has a tongue bite like Vernors. Vernors is a ginger aale. Green wine in Portugal is 12 per cent alcohol by volume and taste a 100 per cent good.
My face is numb.
I caught a Portuguese carp today. Here are pictures. It was on a golf course on the property of the hotel. They said it couldn’t be done. The concierge said it couldn’t happen.
It was amazeballs. The golfers were not amused with my shenanigans.
Also, Courtney New rocks and I will marry her someday soon. I hope. She’s never seen me drunk before.