Hemingway may have been on to something, but I missed it. He is quoted as saying, “Write drunk and edit sober.” Drunk me is a writer on the caliber of the ‘Fun with Dick and Jane’ books, “Brandon has a drink. Drink, Brandon drink!” Editing that crap would take too much time.
The last time I was drunk, I laid down in a parking lot because the heat rises and I was feeling very flush. Writing was a foreign concept then, but I distinctly remember the overwhelming urge to communicate my level of intoxication to anyone who would listen. Somethings (like Drunk Me) apparently, never change. This time was very different. I want to start drinking more wine. There are studies showing wine is beneficial to Type 2 diabetics. Problem is, I have disliked any wine that I have tried so far.
This is what I was mulling over while sitting at the dinner table, idly browsing the wine list. I found a type of wine I had never heard of on the menu and I decided to try it. When the waiter brought the glass of Vinho Verde out, I tried it. It reminded me of a granny smith apple; tart, yet bright and refreshing. It was delicious, and when I finished the glass, I was disappointed it was gone. What else was I to do but order a bottle? The events that followed the bottle were clearly influenced by brain effervescence. I drunk skyped, drunk facebooked, drunk blogged, and took a scalding bath. The only thing I don’t remember is what on God’s green earth I was thinking when I decided a boiling pot of me was the smart thing to do.
If my posting while drunk offends you… Well, you are probably offended easily, and I feel bad that you let something that minor get to you. Once a decade is hardly something to get high and mighty over. Both times I was drunk, I was safe. While I was drunk, I didn’t: drive, get angry, become violent, try to rape anyone, become destructive, cheat on anyone, commit an illegal act, pressure anyone to do anything, or do anything I regret. No fear, those that of you who might judge me; this isn’t something that will happen very often. That being said, I will let the post live as is. It makes me laugh, and the post isn’t something you come across in a blog very often. Enjoy this one, my friends. I do not plan on writing drunk again, despite what Hemingway recommended. I want my scrappy little offerings for you to be the best I can manage.
On the Veritas part, I do love Courtney. I do intend on making an honest woman of her. I don’t need wine to tell you that.