Hemingway said
Hemingway said.

Hemingway said you should write drunk and edit sober.  I guess maybe for spelling. I’m not sure if you want to be here for this, but I’m going to skip editing. I am drunk in Portugal.  It happened because I wanted to try a glass of wine.  The wine I ordered was delicious.  Courtney’s wine was not.  Mine was green, here was rose.  I ordered a bottle.  It was 23 euros.  That’s like 23 times 1.32 dollars. The llast time I was drunk was 2002.  I was in Japan.  This gives me rise to think that I am only wise to get drunk in foreign countries. Like Japan and Portugal. Green wine doesn’t make my mouth turn funny when I drunk it.  It has a tongue bite like Vernors.  Vernors is a ginger aale.  Green wine in Portugal is 12 per cent alcohol by volume and taste a 100 per cent good. My face is numb.   I caught a Portuguese carp today. Here are pictures.  It was on a golf course on the property of the hotel. They said it couldn’t be done.  The concierge said it couldn’t happen. It was amazeballs. The golfers were not amused with my shenanigans.   Also, Courtney New rocks and I will marry her someday soon.  I hope. She’s never seen me drunk before.

GRTU Troutfest 2014
GRTU TroutFest

Troutfest 2014 One Bug is Fake participated in GRTU’s Troutfest on the 22nd and 23rd of February 2014 in a different way than normal. Instead of merely attending the show, I was a vendor!  The following post is a link heavy, poorly photographed, and gritty rundown of the event. Most of you who read this blog in the past know that I am on the Smithfly Stream Team, which was a huge honor for me.   Smithfly is a product that I absolutely love.  Their first offered product, the “El Paquito” was a revolutionary device for me. The spirit behind the product hit home with my desire to customize my gear to fit exactly the situation I was going to be in that day without any extra bulk or wasted space.  He has since extended his line of goods with a lot of critical acclaim, and I have remained a fan. I worked a trade show with the company’s principal during my stint in Michigan.  I had a lot of fun working the trade show and helping to promote the gear that I love, so I talked him into doing the same thing here in Texas at the Troutfest held by the largest chapter of Trout Unlimited.  The Guadalupe River chapter of TU sponsors this event every year and I have enjoyed going to it and the subsequent F3T showing held on the banks of the Guadalupe River each time. I decided to call up Shawn of sbixel.com and we decided to […]

Dear World (A Smoker’s Apology),
Apology face

On the 27th of October, I attempted something I felt was a huge undertaking.  I decided to quit smoking, but planned on still partaking in the alternatives.  I failed at it within a day.  For me, moderation is rarely an option.  Especially when it comes to cigarettes. If I was to succeed at this, I was going to need to drop it all; good bye to e-cigs, pipe tobacco, cigars, and I was not going to try patches or gum.  I started over on the 29th   of October with my goal redefined.  498 days* (and counting) later, life is different.  Cigarette smoking is an insidious demon that drastically alters who you are, completely down to your body chemistry.  You have no idea how much you have changed by cigarette smoking (and other forms of nicotine delivery) until you are safely on the other side of it.  This isn’t a lecture about the dangers of smoking though, if you need that there are several sites out there with really good information.  I am here to apologize. I considered myself a considerate smoker.  I was generally aware of my surroundings, often stepping away from people to partake.  I collected my butts on the water and put them in a special pouch.  I brought fresh conditioned air inside the vehicle and cracked a window to suck the smoke out of the car.  I did what I could to minimize even the smell of cigarette smoke lingering on my clothes.  That said, 497 days later, […]

Baby Steps
Photo: Chris Johnson
Edit: Chris Johnson / OBIF

I’ve been trying to get back in the blogging world.  Doing it with any pomp or circumstance feels empty.  I feel like I have abandoned the few people who read what I had to say and thus do not deserve a glorious return. Instead, I should earn it back slowly; one post at a time.   What happened to me? I was there. I was being read by quality people and making some amazing connections that I would have never made without blogging. I know it sounds cliche, but I got a girlfriend and quit blogging.   The two were related only because of this; blogging was fruit fertilized by loneliness. The blogging seed was loneliness that I planted in Twitter and quickly outgrew its lattice.  I repotted to the blog.  Then after it started to bear fruit, I quit tending. Magically, I found Courtney and fought my way out of the friendzone; suddenly I wasn’t so lonely. With no fertilizer, the fruit dried up (sort of like this metaphor).   I miss it though. I miss the writing practice. I miss reading the comments. I miss the friends. The drive to blog was dormant; this was not a result of my fishing.  I haven’t stopped fishing; I only stopped telling y’all about it. Even better, player two entered the fishing game. She was good, and picked up great faster than anyone I have ever had the pleasure of watching. Suddenly, I was watching her all the time. Watching her cast […]

Jolly Roger

With all the blog issues I have had of late, it is very nice to be able to say that my site is clean! Winz.

Let’s Catch Up Some More
Sometimes my gimp-fu isn't that bad.

Well, when last we met I was travelling to Texas.  In my current job, ten days off in a row only happens once a year.  In my company, those of us who teach cannot take vacation while students are present.  Students are present all the freaking time.  Once in a blue moon, I get lucky.  Christmas is the only time I can get time off without a huge hassle or a REALLY good reason.  I wasn’t sticking around here when I could be with her. So I hopped a bird ship and flew back to Austin.  The game plan was rather convoluted…  We were to spend two days in Hondo, leave Christmas Eve for Houston, stay in Houston for three or so days, then back to Austin for a small kitchen update. It was accomplished using AirStone, a neat little material that is essentially an artificial stone veneer.  Super lightweight, it was cut with a hacksaw, and stuck to the wall with putty.  It looks pretty very close to real, but a fraction of the cost.  Why am I telling you this?  Easy, brownie points.   Earn some quick with this guys, real quick.  Just buy a good hacksaw and you’re set. Halfway in between, we decided to go fishing.  Okay, I decided and she was on board.  I already called the guy that was going to guide us, shop owner Chris Johnson.  Chris runs Living Waters Fly Fishing in Round Rock, Texas.  I also know him to be an excellent instructor of new […]

Well, Let’s Play Catch Up!
Catch Up

People, I am alive. I have done a lot here since the last post summarizing the journey north.  (I am out of writing practice as well, be aware, this will be as choppy as a Christopher Walken monologue.)  The biggest change in my life since you last heard from me, is the permanent removal of nicotine from my system. I quit cold-turkey. Armed with a 3 gallon tea jug and a ‘Dave & Busters’ Yo-Yo; I walked away from a two pack habit.  This is part of why I haven’t really written anything here in awhile.  I ALWAYS smoked and wrote, one act feeding the other.  Even now, some 4 months strong, as I sit here and write I can feel the urge.  It’s a ghost of what it used to be, nothing more.  The hardest part now is long distance driving, I can’t stay awake like I could. I went fishing with Jason Tucker, where I also met Brian Kozminski ( “Koz” to the cool kids).  I’ll admit, I wasn’t on my best behavior, as I was still learning to cope with life “sans camels”.  I drove up there in DENSE fog that was freezing to my vehicle, after class the night before hunting season opened.   We met rather unceremoniously in the parking lot of the Old AuSable Fly Shop, where I jumped in Koz’s Chevy to snag as many winks as possible.  To say I wasn’t much for conversation is well, accurate.  I eventually woke up, rigged up, and broke my […]

Exodus Texas
Cool Name, Huh?

This journey, is still very fresh in my memory. So much so, that I shudder a bit when I get in the Jeep to go anywhere. I chronicled my trip by taking notes in Gmail thinking I would clean them up for a post. Instead, I present them to you in raw form with notes underneath to further explain (if needed). The song in parenthesis is what was playing as I was getting back on the road. DAY ONE: First stop, West Texas. 140 miles into my trip, trailer holding up well 15.3 miles to the gallon. Stop for kolaches and sweet-tea. The pain of leaving her is hanging over my shoulder. I was supposed to go see a bunch of people before I left Austin. I couldn’t. I had to put some distance down, get in to road-trip mode so to speak. The siren call of The Czech Stop couldn’t be ignored. 124.2 miles later pee on the side of the road. First casualty of moving were ill placed mason jars. Cut my finger trying to salvage some of them. (Texas On My Mind, Pat Green.) 176.6 miles since last fill-up, crossed the Red River and left the world of the frontage roads behind me. Also, I am out of tea again. (I’m A King Bee, The Stone Foxes.) 198.2 miles since last fill up Atoka, Oklahoma. Home of the world’s smallest Wat-Mart. Stopped for gas, and tea. The weather, is warm. And everywhere there is a casino of […]

Gypsy Wild

One of the comments that I receive about my writing is that I am not afraid to expose the inner workings of my mind. To a point, that is true. I’ve also been raised to not “air my dirty laundry”… Truth be told, that’s why things have been fairly quiet over here at OBIF. It’s hard to write when you want to keep things from spilling out. I’ve been unhappy here in Texas for a long time, and for several reasons. Mostly, I have been lonely. I’ve not mentioned this a lot because who wants to read that sad dribble? What most people don’t know is that I moved here to be near my brothers. We had big dreams at one point, but one by one, those dreams fell by the wayside. The first one to go was making a living out of Texas Country music. The last dream to fall was one that shook things up the most; the exodus of my co-pilot. All the grand dreams (and schemes) slowly slipped through my fingers till I was left with nothing to hold on to. Somewhere along the way, I was blind-sided by this interesting bit of trivia. I was about to hit my seven-year anniversary with this temperamental chunk of earth. Why is seven years a milestone? Good question. Seven years is the most amount of time that I have spent in one place; the place I call home. The rest of my thirty years on this earth have […]

It’s my Cake Day!

Today is the 365th day this blog has been live. Wow, and I was caught unprepared.  Not only am I woefully behind on posts; but I didn’t have anything ready for this date like I had planned!  I wrote this in one sitting, between 0600 and 0848 in between teaching so I would at least have something up to commiserate the day.  I am ashamed. When I say “woefully behind” I mean, back in April a guide friend of mine (and reader of this blog) offered to take meout on a trip for what I call the “Texas Weed Classic” or the THC Mixed Bag Tourney.  The guide was #FlyStock supporter Judson Cole and he guides the texas Hill Country full-time with his business “Hell-N Back Outfitters“.  What started out as a half-day, turned into a full day and I can’t thank him enough for that.  I really had a great time, and I promise!!! I WILL write about that trip soon! Another post that I needed to get out actually fell apart.  Early this year; guide and Umpqua Signature Tyer, Jay Zimmerman (OBIF Friend and post-hoster) released a new prototype fly on his website.  One off-hand Facebook message later, I received an entire variety pack box of flies from Jay.  Awesome flies, and all hand tied by the Master himself including his top-water prototype.  Around the same time came a surprise package from Zazzy Pop flies, filled with hard-bodied poppers from Owl Jones.  The idea was to fish both […]

Earn Your Keep!
or, How I Got To Meet Chris Hunt

I finally got around to telling my side of the Coast Trip. I hope y’all enjoy it.

Stick Figure Fly Fishing.
Fish On

Lately, I have taken up the drawing of stick figures. Then I made them fish. Then I posted them as kind of a joke, but people seemed to really like them. So, I figured this would be a good place to showcase what I have so far.

Apologize No More
GI Party

So, this is a first…   When this site first started, I added stuff that I had written to add some content to a new site.  Since then, I have ALWAYS posted on someone else’s blog; then through the magic of the wordpressing I would load the page within the pages on my site…  Like a dream within a dream, Blogception. Over the course of the next few months, I will slowly start posting on my site.  Beginning 27 Sept. 2012, I will re-vamp the website and all future posts will be posted like this one– on my own website. –Enjoy–   It’s been awhile, yet there are still some things that I haven’t been able to shake.  Idiosyncrasies, the peculiar vernacular, and a few other things permeate through like the smell of mothballs on your winter wardrobe.  I started this as a Facebook post; as I was typing it, it grew to the point that I needed a bigger viewing medium.  I hope it is well received, and maybe a handful can relate.  What I am getting at is that I served.  Not only that, but I served around some of the most motivated, harder-than-woodpecker-lips Devil Dogs in the modern Corps (Ken, Levi, Brandy, Magnolia, Mark, El Gavito, and Kirk)  This made for an exceptionally moto Airman.  I am proud of my service to this country and no one can take that away. From now on I will no longer apologize for the way I am; consider this your […]

SmithFly Switch Vest

I love cool gear, I always have. When I had a chance to review one of the coolest looking vests designed for fly anglers, I jumped at it. Thanks to Ethan for the shot, and thanks to Cam for hosting it. I hope you enjoy!

Eat More Brook Trout

This is the secret I have been keeping quiet about… Which keeping quiet about things generally throws me into writer’s block. If I can’t talk about one thing, the self censoring shuts down the rest of my “flow” so to speak. Now that the secret is out, I can get back to writing. I had a blast meeting Chris and the rest of the guys. After months of “interview envy” I am so excited to be the subject of this week’s Chris, I was thankful to be a part of the trip and grateful that you asked me to do this. The Idaho trip will happen, be careful what you wish for!

Deadman’s Cast, an interview from the Airborne Angler
Deadman's Cast

The Airborne Angler, through a series of emails, asked me to talk about my last days on Earth… As well as a little bit of time after. I really enjoyed this unique and macabre line of interview questions and wanted to share it! I am proud to be the first subject of…

“carp, corn chips, & double hauls”

Thanks to Will King and The Riparian Corridor for hosting the #FlyStock wrap-up post!

Runnin’ With the Devil
Runnin' With the Devil

This is my FIRST PRINT ARTICLE, and I am told some 30,000 copies were run, none of which I have my hands on yet. This could be a new thing for me though, and might continue in the near future. Hopefully with pictures that I choose next time. You can flip to page 42-43, or you can click RIGHT HERE to just read the article.

#FlyStock Friday
One Day, Two Rivers Part Two
One Day Two Rivers Pt 2

This is the continuation from yesterday’s video. After catching my first female white bass, it was time to go pre-fish #FlyStock. Let me tell you, this river is HEALTHY. As you can see from the skies in both videos there was a front moving in, and the fish were pushed down. Still think I had a pretty good couple of hours. All the fish caught in the video, were done so on one fly. That fly is Rainey’s Carp Tease. I was fishing Black/Red and Travis (who caught the “Fish of the Day!”) was using an olive one. It is a killer pattern if you are thinking of attending. On a side note, how about that music? Check out more from the same guy at his website, and if you have already some spare cash, check this out too. Hope you don’t hate the editing, I am still figuring things out.

One Day, Two Rivers. Pt 1
One Day Two RiversPt1

I wanted to get out for a little #FlyStock pre-fish this past Friday (16th March). We had spring break for one day, and I took it. I made plans with a fishing buddy for the day and he suggested checking in on the white bass run out of Lake Travis. Now, it should be known that I have NEVER experienced the fabled “every other cast” runs of lore. However, the white bass I have managed to catch fight like hippies avoiding soap. Until this day, I had also never managed to snag a female white bass. The video is rough, but I think the music is lees painful than the last time…

The Compleat Infidel

The Compleat Infidel was a post inspired by a talented writer’s take on fly fishing. I could see this particular angler chose a much different approach than I, but did that make either of our choices wrong? I didn’t think so, but it reminded me of times where people seemed to cast me aside when it was clear I wasn’t a traditionalist.

Whites, Cats, and a Buffalo

My latest addition to the TRB site. This is a good week for posts! A fly fishing trip report from the San Gabriel River in Circleville, Tx during the white bass run.

An Essay of Memories
An Essay of Memories

I have wanted to do this post for a while, but was dogged by writer’s block and assorted other things. I finally cranked it out, and it’s up. Thanks to Grizzly Jim for hosting this trip down memory lane!

Sudden Slack
Sudden Slack

Holy Crap! I was invited to do this post on Google+ by Ben Smith. Given the history of this site and the caliber of writers; I was highly intimidated. I was also very flattered. I hope you enjoy!

2011 is in the Net

Thanks for stopping by! Thanks to Ms Fishilicious for the host-age (and awesome compliments) as well! Enjoy my friends!

Introducing Infidel Fly
Infidel Fly

Kyle Perkins is that guy that knows EVERYONE. Seriously. Everyone in the world of Fly Angling knows him and what’s more, is everyone likes him and speaks highly of him. I like him too, he is a good guy and one of the first people to make me feel welcome in the blogging world. That said, I thank him deeply for hosting this new facet of my life!

Life and Fly
Life and Fly
30 Days: Finale
30 Days Finale

I’m glad it’s over.  Did I succeed or fail?  Oh-no, look out below!

Week Three: 30 Days of Fishing
30 Days of FishingDraw

Week Three is here. Confidence is faltering, butts are dragging, and US Marines get a huge thank you.