GRTU Troutfest 2014
GRTU TroutFest

Troutfest 2014 One Bug is Fake participated in GRTU’s Troutfest on the 22nd and 23rd of February 2014 in a different way than normal. Instead of merely attending the show, I was a vendor!  The following post is a link heavy, poorly photographed, and gritty rundown of the event. Most of you who read this blog in the past know that I am on the Smithfly Stream Team, which was a huge honor for me.   Smithfly is a product that I absolutely love.  Their first offered product, the “El Paquito” was a revolutionary device for me. The spirit behind the product hit home with my desire to customize my gear to fit exactly the situation I was going to be in that day without any extra bulk or wasted space.  He has since extended his line of goods with a lot of critical acclaim, and I have remained a fan. I worked a trade show with the company’s principal during my stint in Michigan.  I had a lot of fun working the trade show and helping to promote the gear that I love, so I talked him into doing the same thing here in Texas at the Troutfest held by the largest chapter of Trout Unlimited.  The Guadalupe River chapter of TU sponsors this event every year and I have enjoyed going to it and the subsequent F3T showing held on the banks of the Guadalupe River each time. I decided to call up Shawn of sbixel.com and we decided to […]

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Dear World (A Smoker’s Apology),
Apology face

On the 27th of October, I attempted something I felt was a huge undertaking.  I decided to quit smoking, but planned on still partaking in the alternatives.  I failed at it within a day.  For me, moderation is rarely an option.  Especially when it comes to cigarettes. If I was to succeed at this, I was going to need to drop it all; good bye to e-cigs, pipe tobacco, cigars, and I was not going to try patches or gum.  I started over on the 29th   of October with my goal redefined.  498 days* (and counting) later, life is different.  Cigarette smoking is an insidious demon that drastically alters who you are, completely down to your body chemistry.  You have no idea how much you have changed by cigarette smoking (and other forms of nicotine delivery) until you are safely on the other side of it.  This isn’t a lecture about the dangers of smoking though, if you need that there are several sites out there with really good information.  I am here to apologize. I considered myself a considerate smoker.  I was generally aware of my surroundings, often stepping away from people to partake.  I collected my butts on the water and put them in a special pouch.  I brought fresh conditioned air inside the vehicle and cracked a window to suck the smoke out of the car.  I did what I could to minimize even the smell of cigarette smoke lingering on my clothes.  That said, 497 days later, […]

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Exodus Texas
Cool Name, Huh?

This journey, is still very fresh in my memory. So much so, that I shudder a bit when I get in the Jeep to go anywhere. I chronicled my trip by taking notes in Gmail thinking I would clean them up for a post. Instead, I present them to you in raw form with notes underneath to further explain (if needed). The song in parenthesis is what was playing as I was getting back on the road. DAY ONE: First stop, West Texas. 140 miles into my trip, trailer holding up well 15.3 miles to the gallon. Stop for kolaches and sweet-tea. The pain of leaving her is hanging over my shoulder. I was supposed to go see a bunch of people before I left Austin. I couldn’t. I had to put some distance down, get in to road-trip mode so to speak. The siren call of The Czech Stop couldn’t be ignored. 124.2 miles later pee on the side of the road. First casualty of moving were ill placed mason jars. Cut my finger trying to salvage some of them. (Texas On My Mind, Pat Green.) 176.6 miles since last fill-up, crossed the Red River and left the world of the frontage roads behind me. Also, I am out of tea again. (I’m A King Bee, The Stone Foxes.) 198.2 miles since last fill up Atoka, Oklahoma. Home of the world’s smallest Wat-Mart. Stopped for gas, and tea. The weather, is warm. And everywhere there is a casino of […]

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Gypsy Wild
GypsyWild

One of the comments that I receive about my writing is that I am not afraid to expose the inner workings of my mind. To a point, that is true. I’ve also been raised to not “air my dirty laundry”… Truth be told, that’s why things have been fairly quiet over here at OBIF. It’s hard to write when you want to keep things from spilling out. I’ve been unhappy here in Texas for a long time, and for several reasons. Mostly, I have been lonely. I’ve not mentioned this a lot because who wants to read that sad dribble? What most people don’t know is that I moved here to be near my brothers. We had big dreams at one point, but one by one, those dreams fell by the wayside. The first one to go was making a living out of Texas Country music. The last dream to fall was one that shook things up the most; the exodus of my co-pilot. All the grand dreams (and schemes) slowly slipped through my fingers till I was left with nothing to hold on to. Somewhere along the way, I was blind-sided by this interesting bit of trivia. I was about to hit my seven-year anniversary with this temperamental chunk of earth. Why is seven years a milestone? Good question. Seven years is the most amount of time that I have spent in one place; the place I call home. The rest of my thirty years on this earth have […]

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It’s my Cake Day!
photo-apr-12-11-33-27-pm

Today is the 365th day this blog has been live. Wow, and I was caught unprepared.  Not only am I woefully behind on posts; but I didn’t have anything ready for this date like I had planned!  I wrote this in one sitting, between 0600 and 0848 in between teaching so I would at least have something up to commiserate the day.  I am ashamed. When I say “woefully behind” I mean, back in April a guide friend of mine (and reader of this blog) offered to take meout on a trip for what I call the “Texas Weed Classic” or the THC Mixed Bag Tourney.  The guide was #FlyStock supporter Judson Cole and he guides the texas Hill Country full-time with his business “Hell-N Back Outfitters“.  What started out as a half-day, turned into a full day and I can’t thank him enough for that.  I really had a great time, and I promise!!! I WILL write about that trip soon! Another post that I needed to get out actually fell apart.  Early this year; guide and Umpqua Signature Tyer, Jay Zimmerman (OBIF Friend and post-hoster) released a new prototype fly on his website.  One off-hand Facebook message later, I received an entire variety pack box of flies from Jay.  Awesome flies, and all hand tied by the Master himself including his top-water prototype.  Around the same time came a surprise package from Zazzy Pop flies, filled with hard-bodied poppers from Owl Jones.  The idea was to fish both […]

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Earn Your Keep!
or, How I Got To Meet Chris Hunt

I finally got around to telling my side of the Coast Trip. I hope y’all enjoy it.

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Stick Figure Fly Fishing.
Fish On

Lately, I have taken up the drawing of stick figures. Then I made them fish. Then I posted them as kind of a joke, but people seemed to really like them. So, I figured this would be a good place to showcase what I have so far.

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Apologize No More
GI Party

So, this is a first…   When this site first started, I added stuff that I had written to add some content to a new site.  Since then, I have ALWAYS posted on someone else’s blog; then through the magic of the wordpressing I would load the page within the pages on my site…  Like a dream within a dream, Blogception. Over the course of the next few months, I will slowly start posting on my site.  Beginning 27 Sept. 2012, I will re-vamp the website and all future posts will be posted like this one– on my own website. –Enjoy–   It’s been awhile, yet there are still some things that I haven’t been able to shake.  Idiosyncrasies, the peculiar vernacular, and a few other things permeate through like the smell of mothballs on your winter wardrobe.  I started this as a Facebook post; as I was typing it, it grew to the point that I needed a bigger viewing medium.  I hope it is well received, and maybe a handful can relate.  What I am getting at is that I served.  Not only that, but I served around some of the most motivated, harder-than-woodpecker-lips Devil Dogs in the modern Corps (Ken, Levi, Brandy, Magnolia, Mark, El Gavito, and Kirk)  This made for an exceptionally moto Airman.  I am proud of my service to this country and no one can take that away. From now on I will no longer apologize for the way I am; consider this your […]

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Runnin’ With the Devil
Runnin' With the Devil

This is my FIRST PRINT ARTICLE, and I am told some 30,000 copies were run, none of which I have my hands on yet. This could be a new thing for me though, and might continue in the near future. Hopefully with pictures that I choose next time. You can flip to page 42-43, or you can click RIGHT HERE to just read the article.

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The Compleat Infidel
CompleatAngler

The Compleat Infidel was a post inspired by a talented writer’s take on fly fishing. I could see this particular angler chose a much different approach than I, but did that make either of our choices wrong? I didn’t think so, but it reminded me of times where people seemed to cast me aside when it was clear I wasn’t a traditionalist.

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2011 is in the Net
2011

Thanks for stopping by! Thanks to Ms Fishilicious for the host-age (and awesome compliments) as well! Enjoy my friends!

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Google Plus Rant
Drought

See my drought-related Google+ rant here.

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Showing My Conservative
Mexican Drill Instructor

This was written as a response to someone else’s blog. I don’t even know what blog now, but I do like how this reads. Just because your Dad was in or your friends are in, does NOT mean that you can carry any idea of what those heroes are going through. You have no idea nor can you ever become fully aware of what they are dealing with unless you serve. They volunteered to serve America and protect it with their lives. THEY stood up to the call, that in itself means they are not “everyday guys and girls” as you put it, if they were they wouldn’t be in uniform. They would be at home watching adult swim, getting stupid drunk, gossiping on the phone with their sorority sisters, complaining about men/ their butt, thighs, and or chest/ Daddy cutting them off/ wearing fur/ smoke-filled bars/ being single/ not being single and eating cookie dough. They took on the burden of service and now they have to listen to people like you say that their brothers and sisters are dying for nothing? Think about it, that’s like your parents telling you that they support you but they are against you doing anything you believe in? HOW MANY YEARS HAS IRAQ HAD TO HIDE THOSE WMD’S? The ENTIRE Clinton administration. We played by the U.N.’s rules then and nothing happened. Iraq USED chemical weapons. It is well documented, just because we didn’t find it doesn’t mean that they didn’t have […]

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To Continue in English, Press “1″…
americanflag

I wrote this sometime ago, and some of my views might have changed, but I decided to not rewrite this. Enjoy. Everybody preaches equality. White men have it the best blah blah bla freaking blah.  Let me break this down. Black People.  Nobody else in this solar system can call you the “N” word or any variation of that despicable term.  However, one black person can call another black person anything they want.  Hang with me here; with that, Black-Americans segregate themselves. (Congrats to Jet/Ebony Magazine for stopping this in their publication.) And another thing, Black-Americans, Mexican or Latin-Americans, Chinese-American, Alien-American etc…, these are terms that they have decided everyone should call them.  Ya’ll act like the stubborn wives that won’t take the husband’s last name.  Have you ever seen one of those marriages work?  By using a prefix, again, you segregate yourselves. Where is the equality? When I call any company with an automated service or when I use an ATM or self checkout or warning labels or directions or you name it…  I have to decide between English or another language.  Why?  Who decided that?  I don’t think a white guy sitting at his dinner table on hold with the bank of his choice decided “I wish I had more buttons to push before I get put on hold”.  So that leaves some other.  The same ones that plead equality WANT to be treated different. If we want equality, I mean TRUE equality we need to get rid of the race […]

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Growing Old
Growing Old

  When did you realize that you had grown up?  At what point did you look at yourself in the mirror and see the adult that you have become and not the kid acting out and trying to find a role in life? Were you driving down the road like normal and all of a sudden noticed that EVERYONE around you was driving way too fast?  Did you wake up one morning and mutter something about needing a better mattress to support your back?   You caught yourself at the bar complaining that the music was too loud didn’t you.  Didn’t you?  Buying a house?  Shopping for bed skirts?  It dawned on you that the reason you were excited about the weekend was so you could finally get some rest?  The invitation for your high school reunion showed up in the mail… It happens to all of us at one time or another.  However you came across that particular epiphany what’s important is how you deal with it.  It can be weird, a midtwentieslife crisis if you will.  For me it was this Thanksgiving.  My dad came out from Florida to Houston.  Idrove to Houston to pick him up, that wasn’t my moment though. It was kind of hanging there nagging at me like an old Jewish lady. Nope that moment came at me from the side.  I was, at the time, excited that the dinner Amanda and I had cooked turned out to be a HUGE success.  Amazed that we had […]

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Out
Wingspan

I wrote this a long time after I got out of the military.  I have gotten over most of the issues spoken of here.     I am sitting in front of my computer at 0200 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I have not spoke of this to anybody and I feel compelled to share it with everyone, even if no one truly understands. I was raised very patriotic; in part from my father, an Air Force vet himself and part from my mother, a woman who loved the Air Force she knew, and loves the country she is in. I joined the military, in all honesty, to serve my country.  I wanted to be counted among the ranks of those who did their part.  The select few who signed a contract to allow themselves to be changed forever for the good of a nation. I joined the Air Force for one reason above the rest.  The Air Force held no suprises for me.  I knew what would happen from the moment I swore the oath at MEPS.  With one father, and two uncles in the same branch I knew EXACTLY what I was stepping into.  I understood that it was peacetime and while no large threat darkened America’s horizion.  The only enemy the military was fighting at the time was itself.  Politicians for Colonels trying to prove their command ability over the rest, performing tricks for their bosses hoping to be the next one to recieve a […]

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Noetry
Noetry

It’s funny how The silence is so loud Why can’t you be here Why can’t you be near This world spins so fast You’re a voice from the past I am alone and I wish You were here to kiss I long for a time When your hand was in mine I saw my future in your eyes Now you’re gone from my life I am moving on at last You’re color in a black and white past The sun is set the chance is gone All alone to face a new dawn In my heart there will always be A sacred place for you and me Together again? I ‘ll never know You made the choice, I reap what you sow

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Love Letter
Norman Rockwell

I wrote this after my last  big break up on the 24th of July, 2005.  It’s open, heartfelt, and complete crap.  I considered not sharing it at all, but here it is. -Hey Girl-         Thank God, I am glad you made it.  I have been looking all over for you, from one side of the states to the other, and all across Japan.  I figured you would find me here though.  You don’t know how many nights I laid awake dreaming about you.  I had every detail, the fresh smell of life in your hair, the tiny sparkle in your eyes and the way you crinkle your nose at things you think are cute. Let’s not wait another minute.  I want to show you how much you mean to me.  I want to introduce you to everybody.  My family is going to love you. Even my sister is going to think your awesome.  My friends have heard so much about you they are going to be glad your here so maybe I will shut up about you.  I kept telling them you would come.  After I show you off like a little kid proud of his first missing tooth I want to take you somewhere special.  A place I don’t take anybody to because it’s too special to share with anybody but you.  I know it doesn’t look like much but it is where I went when nothing in the world seemed right.  Confused?  Well, when the […]

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15 Seconds of Celebrity
Ryman Audit

What do I have in common with these people? This list is only a sampling of the various performers that have stood on the Ryman stage…….Roy Acuff*, Fruit Jar Drinkers*, Dolly Parton*, Don Gibson*, Tori Amos, Bill Anderson*, Betty Grable, Norman Vincent Peale, Minnie Pearl*, Eddy Arnold*, Chet Atkins*, Emmylou Harris, Webb Pierce*, Gene Autry, Hawkshaw Hawkins*, Erykah Badu, George D. Hay*, Elvis Presley, Katharine Hepburn, Ray Price*, Bob Hope, Jeanne Pruett*, Jeff Beck, Indigo Girls, Basil Rathbone, Chris Isaak, Jim Reeves*, Jon Bon Jovi, Stonewall Jackson*, Keith Richards, Spike Jones, Tex Ritter*, Victor Borge, Gully Jumpers*, Marty Robbins*, Rod Brasfield*, The Jordanaires*, Roy Rogers, Hellen Keller, Will Rogers, James Brown, Mark Knopfler, Eleanor Roosevelt, William Jennings Bryan, Pee Wee King*, Jeanie Seely*, The Byrds, Lenny Kravitz, Jean Shepard*, Dinah Shore, Ricky Skaggs*, George Carlin, Jerry Lee Lewis, Connie Smith*, Carter Family*, Louvin Brothers*, Hank Snow*, Lyle Lovett, John Phillip Sousa, Johnny Cash*, Bela Lugosi, Bruce Springsteen, Loretta Lynn*, Charlie Chaplin, Uncle Dave Macon*, Stringbean*, Patsy Cline* , Barbara Mandrell*, Harry Connick Jr., Dave Matthews, New York Philharmonic Orchestra, Rev. Billy Sunday, Crook Brothers*, Metropolitan Opera Company, Ernest Tubb*, Doris Day, Grant Turner*, Neil Diamond, Little Jimmy Dickens*, Vatican Choir, Vienna Boys Choir, Bob Dylan, Harpo Marx, Porter Wagoner*, Joni Mitchell, Billy Walker*, Everly Brothers*, Bill Monroe*, Booker T. Washington, Rev. Dwight L. Moody, Kitty Wells*, W.C. Fields, George Morgan*, Orson Welles, Dottie West*, Flatt & Scruggs*, Anne Murray, Mae West, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Jim Nabors, Wilburn Brothers*, Whitey Ford*, […]

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Life Lessons
alphabet-chalkboard

Lessons Learned From Other People Katie Jo showed me that girls make for good company. Ken, Levi, Mark, and Gavit showed me that brothers aren’t always related. Rebekah and Melanie showed me that love can be perfect even if the world ain’t. Paula taught me the value of communication. Dad showed me how a couple of trees can make a house and how to get a splinter out with a pocket knife. Mom taught me which silverware goes with what meal and just because she has never done it before she can throw a knife square in the crotch of a silhouette target first try. Gemaw (my grandma) showed me that you can be 50 plus and still tough as an ox and that guns don’t always kill animals… sometimes buttstocks do. Uncle Keith taught me that what goes up must come down, so make sure your thumb isn’t in the way. Kelly Creamer taught me the value of optimism. Uncle Kevin taught me that a 80 pound kid can move 400 pounds of anything with the right motivation. Aunt Shelly taught me prayer is good anytime and a 5’4” Christian woman can make a 9mm bullet pierce a quarter at 25 yards. Ben showed me that cream rises to the top, but so does a lot of other shit. Grandpa taught me that people can change for the better and that the best way to start a phone conversation is with a great joke. Nana taught me persistence and […]

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Growing Up
500px-Shield_of_the_United_States_Air_Force_Special_Operations_Command

The Military (any branch) is a great way to delay growing up for as long as you want. Someone will; do your taxes, pay your bills, fix your teeth, treat STDs, send you to foreign countries, pay you to go wherever they send you, house you, clothe you, feed you, and give you money to stay in longer. With all that, all you have to do is wipe your ass, breathe, and clean your damn room. It is just like home. That’s why it is easy to be like Peter Pan (wear green, never grow up, hook up with girls from some far away land, etc…). That’s why I love this life so much. But that is about to change. I am about to grow up. Within this year I will complete my fifth year in Active duty and thus end my enlistment. This ‘little detail’ of my life covers so much that I am only just now realizing exactly what. I have to; get a place, find a job, go to college, move, grow my hair out, work out on my own free will, pay my own medical and dental, not get sick, get renters insurance, change my state of residence, and do my own taxes. There is just so much more that I am getting hit with suddenly. I feel confident. I have more discipline than I used to and I have college paid for (GI Bill). However I am really going to step out into the fast […]

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Why Women Are In Control
Girl On Bomb

Originally appeared 14 May 2005 on MySpace.  I know, right? MySpace?   Every since Tommy told us about this thing we can do with girls that he heard from his cousin who saw it on that nature show, we started bending over backwards, screwing over friends, changing, and posing; trying to touch/taste see/smell/get a piece of that thing Tommy told us about. When ‘Nancy’ strips down to blue jeans on the mechanical bull down at the bar: twenty something guys can’t stop staring at her t-shirt twinkies thinking about how to get her quasi-drunk butt home for the dirty sheet rodeo. It’s no big surprise that she has a personality that rates between a love-sock and a A.D.D. afflicted mosquito. Why should she? She has ‘bertha and roxanne’ attracting more ego booster every second. We all judge and call her names, but all of us some of the time (our some of us all the time), take part. Girls Gone Wild has no shortage of material, porn is a million dollar industry and we’ve all listened to Shania Twain. This has got to stop, Shania is way over rated. The other gender will never develope a personality if they never have to. Seriously. I’m out.

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